"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me
together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully
made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not
hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the
depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were
written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there
was none of them." Psalm 139:13-16
Babies, babies, babies!! I am in the stage of life where
so many of my family and friends are having babies and especially their first
baby! A friend of mine had her first baby girl a little over a week ago, my
cousin had her second baby girl last week, two cousins of mine will be having
their first baby girls in the next couple months and a friend of mine (whose
baby shower I just helped as hostess at this weekend- see picture below) is due
in October with her first baby girl! Wow…that’s a lot of baby GIRLS! I hope
women out there are also having some baby boys or we might be in trouble in
about 18 years!!
I think we can all remember a time when life has been a
bit overwhelming and someone has said to you, “Let me know if there’s anything
I can do ” or “Call me if you need anything”. What a wonderful thing to hear
but it leaves you wondering if the person really would help with anything or if
it is just something that people say. I am sure some people are really serious
when they say those words but maybe we on the receiving end are too timid to
take them up on the offer or wonder what “anything” consists of.
When you say to someone “Let me know if there’s anything
I can do” or “Call me if your need anything”…you are throwing the ball into the
person’s court who is overwhelmed and since that person is so overwhelmed, do
you seriously think they will think of contacting you? I would say probably not
because that takes more action on their part. Prayer is the most important thing
we can do, but let us also verbally and physically help as well! This leads to
the new act of kindness for this week! Let us be intentional to contact the
people in our lives who are overwhelmed! When we contact them, let us
intentionally not just let them know we are here to honestly help but also
suggest ways we can and want to help! There are several times in a person’s
life this can relate too…a new baby, packing and moving to a new home, after a
surgery, during or after an illness in the family, after a death in the family
etc.
*The act of kindness this week…show kindness to someone
you know who has entered a new stage in life or is overwhelmed by communicating to them that you honestly want to be
there for them and be specific in suggesting ways that you can help!!
Since there are so many new babies and soon to be new
babies around me…I chose to concentrate on ways to show love to a new mommy and
daddy!!
*My experience with the act of kindness…Our friends, Ryan
and Kacie, officially became parents to their beautiful baby girl, Mercy on
August 15th! Congratulations again!! Ryan and Kacie only live a
couple blocks away from my Husband and I so we have helped pet sit several
times for them over the past couple years. I volunteered us to help pet sit for
free while they were in the hospital! After Kacie texted me the wonderful news
that Mercy safely was born, I remaindered her that we were more than willing to
pet sit, and they took us up on the offer while they were still in the
hospital! My husband and I also wanted to do something for them when they
arrived home. I texted Kacie to see if they were okay with us bringing them
over dinner and dessert three nights after they returned from the hospital! It was a great
way to meet baby Mercy and hold her while her Mommy and Daddy ate a homemade
dinner ending with pink lemonade cookies! There seemed to be some left overs for them too! My Husband and I are
continuing to pray for this new precious family of three also!!
Maybe you live far away from new parents…once again,
prayer is the most important but how about sending them a food gift card so
that they can take a night off cooking and cleaning?!
Here are a couple more very helpful suggestions that I found on how to “love a new
mom”: http://semiproper.com/ways-to-help-a-new-mom/
“1) Be a helpline. If you want to help out a brand
new mom and you’re a seasoned mom veteran, offer to let her call you at all
hours of the night. I had Remmy only nine months before one of my friends had
her baby, but I promised to keep my cell phone on my nightstand just in case
she had any 3am freakouts and had a baby question. She probably only took me up
on my offer a couple of times, but I was another line of defense (or
reassurance) for her when the wee hours of the morning seem so lonely.
2) Round up some healthy meals. New moms are
generally exhausted and wake up with that fresh
I-just-got-ran-over-by-an-Isuzu-Rodeo feeling. While rich, comforting food DOES
sound amazing, it will do nothing for her energy levels. Coordinating with a
couple friends and taking turns doing something simple like cutting up a bunch
of fresh fruit
or mixing up granola and delivering it for breakfast is easy and will make this
new mom forever grateful. Cause, you know, it’s easier for a new mom to throw a
Pop Tart in the toaster oven than it is to attack a whole pineapple with a
machete.
3) Kidnap her kiddies. Uh. Not the new one.
The other one(s), if she’s got them. And get them out of the dang house. Give
Mom a morning where it’s just her and the new baby, and give the kiddies a
morning where they can run around somewhere else and not have to patiently wait
through yet another breastfeeding or diaper session. YOU WILL MAKE THE WHOLE
FAMILY HAPPY.
4) Clean, if you’re close. If you’re close pals,
like…you’ve seen the state of each other’s kitchens after a weekend the stomach
bug hit the house… then yes, offer to help clean
. “I’m coming over to clean your bathroom” or “I’m
coming over to clean out your fridge” or “I’m coming over to wash, dry, fold,
and put away an entire load of laundry for you” are all totally wonderful things
to say to a friend. But if you’re not super close, spare her that offer. She’ll
end up stressing out and trying to clean BEFORE you get there.
5) Or, send someone to clean. Find a reputable
professional cleaning service and pay for a one-time cleaning.
6) Run a couple of errands. Return those baby gifts
to the store, bring back the library books, drop off the Redbox rental, fill up
her gas tank. Teeny things that may seem overwhelming to a new mom.
7) Rock that screaming baby. Sometimes she needs a
break from her sweet newborn, especially if her newborn seems to be prone to
crying jags. After the baby is fed, have her take off her shirt and throw it
over your shoulder (her scent comforts baby). Send her into the shower (where
she can’t hear and get some much-needed alone time) while you rock the baby for
her.
8) Want to help but you’re far away or have your own crew
to take care of? Sometimes I simply cannot make the time investment to help
another mom, but I want to do something to show her I love her and appreciate
her. When you can’t be there, how about: 1) sending her a gift card to a
restaurant in her area so she can order take-out, 2) buying a couple of healthy
and tasty snacks/drinks online and having
them sent to her house, 3) sending a pack of diapers to her house. When she texts you to say thank
you, respond with: Don’t you dare send me a thank you card. You’ve got enough
junk to do.
9) Help her get out of the house. Moms (and their
kids) can get cabin fever, but the thought of leaving the house seems daunting.
Pick a morning and tell her you’ll meet her at her home to help her pack up the
kid(s). Something as simple as being an extra set of hands while she pushes
around a stroller at Target can do wonders for her.
10) Sleep on her couch. This one helps out Dad,
too. Tell her you’ll swing by around 8:00pm and stay til midnight. Once she
gets the baby down, send the parents to bed and tell them to sleep. You hang
out on their couch, eat Cheetos, fold laundry, etc. When the baby cries,
give her a bottle (or gently wake your pal up for a nursing session). Let Mom
go back to bed while you change the diaper and hang out with the baby or rock
her back to sleep. The parents get a solid four hours of sleep and maybe a
clean living room, and you get all the Cheetos you want.”
In conclusion, let us be honest when we speak and not
just say words that you think people want to hear. Let us be intentional about
helping the people we know are in a new stage of life or are in an overwhelming situation by continuing to express
to them we are here for them and also by offering specifics on how we can help!
Please do not stop there…put your words and suggestions into action!!
p.s. Please comment below with your own experience with
this act of kindness or other suggestions! I would really enjoy hearing about
it!!
