Let Love Overflow In Your Life: Act of Kindness

“People often forget that kindness is free!”

This week’s blog post is going to be a little different than the rest have been. My first eight “Act of Kindness” blogs explain ways to show kindness to a stranger face-to-face or participating in an act of kindness that will be given to a stranger that you will never have contact with. The goal is to concentrate on small intentional words and/or actions that can show God's love and kindness to strangers through me! I will continue to write and share new blog posts with ideas for acts of kindness to encourage you to come along side me and make showing kindness contagious!!

God has also tugged on my heart recently to focus more on the people in my life who are not strangers. There are several Bible verses that command us to care for other people. "Other people" are family, friends, co-workers, a collage school mate from years ago etc. It could be someone I see each week at work, talk to once a week at church, see once a month at a family gathering or even see once a year at a social outing. I decided to blog about this act of kindness idea to encourage not only myself but others as well! So here we go…

*The act of kindness this week…show kindness by stopping what you are doing, asking someone “how are you?” and then giving them your full attention as you listen to their response!!

Have you noticed that “Hi” is almost always automatically followed by “how are you?” Hopefully most of the time, this question is asked genuinely by someone who takes the time to stop and listen but sometimes it is by someone who continues to walk by you while asking the question and never really stops to hear your full answer, sometimes by someone who is totally distracted with someone else or something so they are only half listening to you etc. Is “Hi, how are you?” possibly more of a put together greeting now?

Have you also noticed the difference when someone stops what they are doing and gives you their full attention when they say, “Hi, how are you?” I know for me, it makes me want to truthfully tell that person how I really am instead of just respond with the normal “fine” or “good”. People do to an extent show you they care no matter how or when they ask “how are you?” but what I am learning is those three words are powerful. “How are you?” and your actions and words afterwards can show someone that you really do care or unfortunately leave someone questioning if you do care at all. I found the below quote about caring about someone that I believe is very true.

“Someone who cares will ask you how your day is. They want to know what you’re doing; they want to know if something significant has happened in your life. You don’t have to talk to them all the time, but when you do see them, they will want to know how you are. Not out of some sort of obligation, but because they genuinely want to know. Someone who cares will listen. Now, there are times when they won’t listen well. We all do that sometimes: we’re distracted, or so excited we talk over each other. But a person who cares will listen to you, because your opinions matter to them. The things you say make some sort of impact on them – your opinions make them think, or make them laugh. But in their way, whatever that way is, they will listen.”

"How are you?" is actually a pretty deep question if you think about it. It is not a surface level question about how a person’s day has been or their upcoming weekend plans but a deeper level question of how they are as a person and the issues going on in their life…good and not so good. Another thing to remember is that not everyone answers the question “how are you?” honestly. Usually when someone responds with “I’m fine”, they really are not fine. It might be that something is really wrong or just that they have not found the “good” in that day. I know two things for sure… I do not want to have someone lie to me with “I’m fine” because I did not show I cared when asking "how are you?" and second, by showing I care, I want it to encourage someone who might respond with “I’m fine” to see the good in the day. One of my favorite quotes is, “Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day!”

*My experience with the act of kindness…This week has just been the beginning of my experience with this. Again, it takes being intentional to let “how are you?” not be just part of your greeting to someone but really showing someone you care! Here are some ideas that I have started doing.

1) When you see someone, asking “how are you?” is a great question but intentionally try to stop what you are doing and really pay attention to them as you ask the question and also as they respond! In the end, really only kindness matters. Pour out love and kindness and fill up other’s lives with it while you can!

2) Next time you are asked the question, “how are you?” try to not respond with a one word answer like fine, tired, good, great etc. How about respond with something positive or finding the good in the day! We are all blessed in countless ways and that does not change even if we are feeling down. Examples: "It is a beautiful day so I am happy" or "God is faithful so I am grateful" or "Tomorrow is Friday so I am excited"! Then of course open the question back up to the person. I guarantee it will cause a little more conversation than the typical “Hi, how are you?” “Fine.” “How are you?” “Good.” AND it will probably leave both people confident that the other person does care how they are doing!

Let me leave this blog with one more comment. God will never forget you. He loves you! He cares so deeply about you! That truth will never change even when your day to day does. So…how are you?! How is your day going?! What do you have to be thankful for?! We are blessed way beyond what we deserve!! Let’s be intentional about showing love and kindness with how we care for others by the simple words, “Hi, How are you?”